Five search criteria for finding your life partner. 


If you’re searching for your first love or your true love, these five criteria will help you find a good life partner. It’s a list that I developed early in my adult life when a colleague urged me to create a list. People generally like it so I thought you might too.


Five criteria for finding a good life partner


1/ Chemistry


Chemistry is somewhat elusive but it’s often high on everyone’s list because the high felt when you find it feels so good. The issue is that it may or may not last.


The best way to assess chemistry is to ask yourself, how the person makes you feel. Write down the adjectives and assess whether the words are affirming for your health and wellbeing or not. If you’re honest with yourself, you’ll draw the right conclusion about the relationship and won’t need to seek input or validation from your family and friends.


2/ Communications


Rejection is a reality of dating and it can be hard on the ego if it leaves you feeling like you’re not good enough. Establishing realistic expectations and talking rather than texting or emailing can help avoid misunderstandings and hurt feelings.


If you do get rejected, reframe it rather than recoil. A lot of things have to line up for a relationship to work and some of those things are beyond your control. Let it go and continue your dating journey.



3/ Views and interests


Our views and interests are shaped by a number of factors including culture, values and life experiences. Finding alignment is even trickier in diverse societies but not impossible if there is some level of commonality and mutual respect



4/ Morality, spirituality and region


People can be moral without being spiritual or religious. However, people practicing one faith or another may have additional conditions of morality. If someone identifies as spiritual or religious, understand what that means to them and what it requires for a life partner.



5/ Humor


I remember being a young girl and asking my mom “when does life get easier?” Life doesn’t get easier but thankfully, with time and experience we get stronger, smarter and better. Humor and a good laugh can make the rough patches of life feel easier.



Establish realistic expectations 


Finding a good life partner is still hard despite the number of match making apps and services.


Here are some stats from someone in my social circle:


  • Initial Matches: 1 out of 100
  • Mutual Likes: 80%
  • Conversation to Call: 50% of Mutual Likes
  • Conversion to Date: 1%


The initial pool of potential partners is large but the pool gets really small as you start filtering the profiles for your criteria. Don’t give up unless you are honestly fulfilled and satisfied with your life now.

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